In another lifetime - or maybe just a dream
I was frying mini doughnuts - at the Roman Coliseum
They were purchased by the Tribune - And, the Emperor too
But, when I sold out early - I didn't know what to do
I untied my dirty apron -And, tossed it on the ground
And, followed hot Phoenician chicks - while they walked around
Rose pedals fell from the sky - And landed in the street
Where a line of chariots rolled on by - for the audience to greet
Pilate proclaimed it time to start - until his lover cried
The race must be aborted - since the Corinthian driver died
Tiberius hiked up his toga - and formed a smirking grin
Somebody bring the baker - we'll make his ass fill in
The centurions pointed to my ride - And, said hop in if you will
And, when I asked what if I don't - they pointed to a hill
A billboard proclaimed Golgotha - the mountain made of skull
Its the worst place to get crucified - because their spikes are dull
I didn't like my options - I was being played by fate
So I finished my second Diet Coke - And, stepped into the gate
To my right were noble whites - you could listen to them purr
They belonged to some crazy Shiek - and a Prince who we called Hur
To my left stood Massalah - and his majestic blacks
He was a five time winner - and familiar with this track
Some have said the steeds rich color - held significanace
But, that was soon forgotten - when I looked up at the fence
Four Jackasses tethered - were staring back at me
Betty Crocker, General Mills, Doughboy and Sarah Lee
A motley crew for certain - but, we were still a team
Before I calculated odds - I heard the trumpets scream
Massalah sent praise to Jupiter - who granted all his whims
Which made me wonder hard and fast - why those razors on his rims
Nine times around the Circus - is what it takes to win
So no time like the present - I peeled out and took a spin
The rig from Macedonia - tried to vanquish me
But when I moved into 3rd place - his horses stopped to pee
Massalah and the Prince - saw me in their rear view mirror
And, as I closed the gap - they looked back and missed a gear
The 2 of them collided - and the Tribune hit the dirt
You shouldn't go commando - when your uniforms a skirt
His legs were amputated - they were trampled under hoof
If there would have been a ceiling - we would have raised the roof
The Physicians tried to save him - But, he was to far gone
And, just before he passed away - he warned the the race will still wage on
My donkeys were dark horses - yet we occupied 2nd place
We got so close to Judah - that I could see his face
He whispered that a man he didn't know - served him and he wondered why
Perhaps I am mistaken - But, I thought I saw him cry
As we turned the final corner - I finally took the lead
This pacified the savage mob - who were cheering out of greed
In a final stretch an image appeared - it was divine
And, told me to take heed - if I crossed the finish line
I began to shake and tremble - pulled my donkeys in reverse
After the Hebrew won - he claimed the laurel and the purse
Caesar checked him out - because the Jew was cute and trim
Then he proceeded to advise the crowd - that they should worship him
As the day proceeded - I became upset
I knew I really won the race - But, yet I lost my bet
I was glad the Hebrew Nation - had a reason to believe
But, what about us Pollacks - we always have to grieve
That's when Jesus appeared to me - in a slice of toast
And, promised to give me victory - so Impressive I could boast
In another lifetime - or maybe just a dream
I threw a tiny pebble - at a big old Philistine
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